My biggest pet peeve is when I get asked the question "Is she yours?". I don't know if it's because I look younger than I am or because of the obvious racial differences, but I get that question A LOT. Aside from it being flat out rude and inappropriate (I would NEVER ask anyone that), I feel like it comes from the assumption that foster and/or adoptive children are somehow not "mine."
Lance and I both feel very strongly that any child that is placed into our home is "ours" regardless of how they came to be there or how long they may or may not be staying. We will love each child who lives under our roof the same NO MATTER WHAT! Our hope is that our family and friends will be able to see it this way as well (and most of them do) and will treat each of our children with an equal amount of love and attention. Every child needs a big person to claim them and say "yes, of course they are mine and they are very loved." She may not be living with us 6 months from now, but she will always be my baby.
One of my friends who fosters was asking a social worker about 2 little boys who were previously her foster sons and said "how are my boys doing?". The social worker replied "your boys?". And without missing a beat she said "Yes, they lived in my home, their pictures are on my wall, and I took care of them, they will always be my boys." Love it!
Another thing I am commonly told by people is that Lance and I are getting such good practice for when we "actually" become parents. I know that people who say that are just trying to make conversation and probably even mean it as a compliment. Truth be told, I do not take it that way. In fact, I find this statement quite offensive. So, basically since I didn't birth this child I'm not a "real" parent- surely that's not what makes a parent. Hmm... apparently there is something profoundly different between what we do and what a "real" parent does. I haven't quite figured that one out yet. We spend just as much (if not more) time loving, disciplining, changing diapers, playing, feeding, driving, worrying, teaching, etc. as any other parent I know.
Ahh... I feel better. I've had that on my mind for a while.
Leave me some comments people!
